Laurie, la flâneuse

The November issue of Body + Soul Magazine is on the stands, and in it you’ll find the article (pg. 66), “In Praise of Introverts.”  Though I contributed to the piece (Introvert Power) along with Marty Laney (The Introvert Advantage) – and senior editor Terri Trespico did a beautiful job of writing it – the person who inspired the article is the one I want to praise today.  Her name is Sheila Reynolds (pictured), and she is the first recipient of  The Power of One Introvert awards (which her story inspired me to create).  Here’s the story:

Several months ago, Terri Trespico interviewed me for an article she was writing for Body + Soul Magazine. The article, “In Praise of Introverts,” was, of course, right up my alley. We had a wonderful discussion, and Terri told me that, before she started looking into the topic — and Introvert Power — she had not realized that she was an introvert! 

Toward the end of the interview, Terri told me that the article was written in response to a reader’s letter.

Sheila Reynolds, who had read Introvert Power and The Introvert Advantage,  needed to correct an assumption communicated in an article previously published in Body + Soul (an article she generally liked).  Here’s an excerpt from Sheila’s letter:

“…this article made one important false assumption. One part of her [the author's] advice had to do with introversion as a label or a “type” that can be changed.  She suggested not trying to work a whole crowd at once, but rather to strike up a conversation with one person you don’t know.   This could help you shed the “introvert” label.  She makes it seem that it’s desirable to shed the image of introversion.   

Most introverts have spent their lives believing that introversion is a failing or shortcoming.   I, and friends like me, have spent a lot of time figuring out how to be more outgoing and not be introverts.   Even the term introvert conjures up in people’s mind an anti-social person, at best a recluse.   

Introverts do not get energized from being in crowds of people, as do extraverts.   We need quiet and time alone to recharge and, when we are able to do that, we can be just as friendly and social as anyone else.    We simply prefer a slower, quieter pace than is considered “normal” in our culture.   What causes our awkwardness is often the feeling that we are out of sync because of who we are and we must force some kind of change to become outgoing… The suggestion given by the author of this very informative article, while well meaning, is part of what I’ve had to deal with my whole life  as I’ve believed I should change and improve my basic temperament to make myself fit into what is normal.  She may honestly feel she’s being helpful with this suggestion since introversion does have such a negative connotation.   Far more helpful is to begin to dispel the myths around introversion and work to show people the advantage to being introverted.  

Terri responsed with appreciation, though she noted that the author had said, “IF you’re looking to shed the ‘introvert’ label…,” presenting such a change as optional. She also indicated that she’d pass Sheila’s input along to the author. 

Sheila later told me, “Normally I would have let in end, but I felt compelled to respond to this, so I did.”  Sheila wrote Terri another letter:     

... at least in regards to myself and similar introvert friends, the reason we have ever wanted to change ourselves was exactly because of the “introvert label” and “if you’re looking to shed the introvert label”… it might be a healthier attitude to change the perception of what being introverted is rather than change yourself.

 I will admit also to be somewhat sensitive to an issue I struggled with from early childhood. Schools praise students for class participation, for example, even to the point of basing part of one’s grade on such a thing.   My son struggled with this for many years and I recall him crying once as a teacher lowered his grade due to poor class participation.   He said to me, “by the time I think of the answer, the outgoing kids already have blurted it out.”  

Sheila said that a couple days later she got this email:

Hi Sheila,
We were so moved by this letter, that we’ve decided to do more than just tell you we liked it. We, too, understand that this distinction needs to be made, that someone needs to pierce the veil regarding the misunderstandings and assumptions around introverts, introversion, and what it all means. And perhaps now’s a good a time as any!

So —and this is a tribute to your good timing and serendipity in general—we’ve decided to do a story on it and happen to be in a place where we need a story to fill one that has dropped out. So I am going to write it, and I’d like to interview you about it! How do you like that! I don’t think too many readers have ever had that happen! 

When Terri told me about Sheila, I saw my book in action. I saw introvert power in action. And I decided that Sheila deserved an award for her activism. Now here’s the story of Maurie:

I knew that I would send Sheila a signed book and a cheesy certificate, but I also wanted to send her a memorable symbol of introvert power. I happened to be collaging with an (introverted) artist friend, Amy Williams, and told her about the award idea. She sews these adorable stuffed Kreetures, and told me, “Let me make an introverted Kreeture for her [Sheila].”

So Amy created Maurie, a new species: It’s a cloyster — part clam, part oyster. The tag attached to Maurie says, “inside every introvert is a world and a pearl.” Look below to see what Maurie is hiding inside.

When Sheila received the award, she was struck by all of the connections between Maurie and her life. But, if she will, I’ll let Sheila share these herself in Comments. Meanwhile, here’s her acceptance “speech” (appropriately, for an introvert, made via email):

I will continue to do my best to Honor My Introvert Self and to live up to the award I received.

I have no doubt.

For more on Amy, visit: http://artofamywilliams.shutterfly.com/

or http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/amyvangogh?ref=profile

Tell me your stories of introvert power.  When you make a big splash like Sheila did, you may be the next winner! Sheila’s cloyster is appropriately ONE of a kind, and your surprise will be too! 

Thanks to all of you who, in big and small ways, are changing the world.  

Laurie